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{Sunday, January 2, 2011 , 12:23 PM} people often asked me, "why you are always so pessimistic?". erm.. why ah? that is because i m scare of disappointment. you know each time a person get disappointed.. the next time they won't even have the courage to try again. maybe will, but eventually they need sometime. yes, they told me, "you must always look on the bright side, but prepare for the worst". i did, just that i will still feel very upset when the outcome isn't what i want. thinking that this year.. the Chinese New Year i couldn't celebrate in either Singapore or Malaysia with my loves one.. maybe New Year can more or less make it up for that loss. i told mom i was going out on New Year Eve (NYE) to countdown or to celebrate. and mom told me ok, anything i want. i thought may be i can spend NYE with you.. but because you told me you have something on with your mom. so nevermind. but in the evening when you told me you are gonna meet yang they all to go see firework and stuffs. i was kinda upset. but is ok, because when i asked you.. you only said see how first then decide. then i remembered Saodah dearie asked me a few days ago.. whether i want to meet her on Friday.. so i went to msg dearie and she told me she could meet me around 7 plus. i told her half an hour before she was coming, send me a msg. indeed, dearie sent me saying that she will be arriving in half an hour time. i went to prepare my stuffs. however, half an hour later. she told me she was going to meet a few of her friends who have not been meeting up for years. so maybe i can meet her some other day. ok then. so in the end.. what i planned for NYE is just a waste. haha. at that moment, i was really upset. thinking.. why the people i care and love.. their time is always not for me. seeing your brothers celebrating with their girlfriends. you know how upset i m? |
