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{Monday, December 12, 2011 , 10:52 PM} well, i like to write things out. when there is no one for me to talk to. this is the only place i can spam all my thoughts. i don't tweet and neither do i post on facebook wall. cause that will only expose to the whole world how weak i m. my blog is the only place where not many people will come and visit. although i like to whine and complain a lot.. but after awhile i will always find something to comfort myself. and that is by saying words that can motivate me. sometimes i will eat brownie or cheesecake.. it does help.. however, due to my tooth decay i have to reduce the amount of sugar intake. i try so hard to control and finally i lose quite a few grams recently. although it wasn't a big issue. but is still quite encouraging because new year is nearing. have to lose weight so that i can fit in all those nice dress and clothes. and one good news is that, i gonna try wearing dress more often. obviously is those casual one, not those super exaggerate one. cause i wan to be more feminine. i know that i am a very introvert person. also shy to the max.. and like to shut myself in a world which only people that knows me super well then can enter. i m not quiet ok, just that people have to communicate with me in a way that i won't feel stress. when i m unhappy, i will just store everything inside my heart. but once i could not take it.. i will just cry out everything. i like to talk.. but recently, i feel that i m like a lonely girl. my mom is getting a bit haywire.. always yell and shout.. don't know for what shit either. can't she just talk properly right?! so i don't really talk to her that much nowadays. my best friend is not in Singapore, because she have something more important to do now. i hope she is fine and i hope to see her soon. for Saodah, she seems to be very busy ALWAYS. i can't make appointment with her, because i got phobia with her last min cancellation. normally before i call up these 2 sweeties, i will always call my bf first. because we contact almost everyday. but these few days, everyone was so busy.. i m seriously bore ttm and i started getting moody with little things and showing my temper. never have i felt that lonely and bore.. no one cares.. no one bother to ask what i am doing.. but i think i should accept the fact that everyone is growing up. everyone is getting busier and busier. due to school work, relationship, career, family obligations etc etc.. the list goes on and on. so i should not be too persistent over certain things. i have to be more flexible and more independent. em.. i just hope some day, i can escape from this house.. or better still, a short getaway from this place.. stay out for a night or two.. and enjoy to my fullest max! putting behind all the books, projects, stress and thoughts.. just you and me.. i will be super duper happy. i know it is quite random to post something about myself suddenly. but is alright, cause this is me.. this is my personal blog. and it has been very long since i ever talk about myself. i hope tomorrow will be a windy day.. because sunny day is never too good for me. "ice cream" is what chin chin call me. so now you all know the reason. |
